I want you beside me, not because it's your job, but because it's our
by meryg
Summary: One-shots regarding Hailey and Adam. Chicago PD belongs to Dick Wolf and / This story will also be posted on Archive of our / Upzek feels.
1. Chapter 1

She keeps getting her hair tangled these days. Summer has been kind on her skin tone, washing away the pale winter shade she had all winter, but her hair has been driving her crazy. She almost can't wait for autumn to get to Chicago.

Adam is the only one with the patience enough to help her disentangle her hair late at night. If it were up to her, she would simply let it be, but he is there every night, caressing her back with one hand and pushing his fingers through her locks with the other.

Hailey has her eyes closed and she can feel him watching her, but she cannot for the life of her find the will to open her eyes.

He will have to talk to break the spell.

And he doesn't take long.

-Your hair is longer. – he says with his usual raspy voice without stopping his movements.

She hums as a response but doesn't open her eyes.

-I like it. – he adds in a whisper which makes her smile.

Those are their moments and she treasures them in her heart and in her mind. She has the feeling this thing, this relationship with them won't last long.

Hailey doesn't have many rules, but she doesn't take much bullshit from anyone around her, and he seems to have a magnet for disaster situations.

And even though she can't see Kim looking at him with anything resembling desire or anything like that, she knows the other woman doesn't know that she and Adam are involved.

It was her idea to keep things on the downlow, but he has never disagreed with her on that subject.

(She also doesn't miss the way Adam sometimes looks at Kim).

* * *

They have a particular bad case that day and she ends up on the hospital, having to be checked by Jay's brother.

-I feel fine. – she tells the good doctor one more time. She can almost see Jay roll his eyes on the corner of the room.

-So you tell me. – Will says while he reads her chart. – How's your arm? –

April put a bandage on her arm where the bullet brazed it. There was some blood but not that much considering it could have gone right through her arm.

-Good. -she assures Will, trying to look the part of a person ready to go home. She has a few bruises on her neck and stomach where the criminal hit her when they were fighting for the control of the situation, but she feels fine. A scotch and her bed are all she needs.

-Can you drive her home? -Will asks his brother and Jay nods, putting his phone away before standing up.

They insist on a wheelchair to the entrance and Will's the boss there, so she doesn't have much of a choice.

-I could stay and we could order something, like a pizza, I don't know. – Jay says as he pulls up in front of her door.

-Jay, really, I'm fine. You've seen me in worst shape. – she says trying to lighten the mood but she knows it only serves to remind her partner of her bruised face when she faced Booth. – I am fine. I will eat something so the meds don't ruin my stomach and get to shower and bed. – she assures him before he can speak again. – You'll pick me up tomorrow right? – she asks him as she opens the door.

-Yeah. – Jay assures her. – Call me if you need anything, for real. – he says as she steps out of the car.

Hailey smiles at her partner, closing the door. – Thanks, man. – she says walking towards her house.

Jay is a good friend to her; sure, he has his own share of issues but who doesn't? She has learned to trust him and she appreciates his presence in her life.

He was kind enough to worry about her and get her to the hospital.

(Unlike her supposed boyfriend who hasn't even bothered to call her.)  
She grabs a glass from the counter to pour herself some water, while she checks her messages.

She ignores a text from one of her brothers, while she opens the message Adam has sent her.

"You're not coming to Molly's?"

She shakes her head once, trying to come up with a response but her brain is blank, so she blocks her cellphone screen again before grabbing the bottle of scotch and pouring herself a drink.

She tries not to think about the fact that it takes her much longer to fall asleep that night.

* * *

-Hey, how's your arm? – Kim asks her the following morning as they are both getting some coffee at the station.

-It's fine. It was nothing. – Hailey assures her, as she pours coffee in Kim's cup and then on her own.

-We missed you at Molly's last night. – Kevin says as he walks into the room, Adam behind him.

-Yeah, even Sergeant Voight went to have a drink with us. – Kim says smiling while she shrugs her shoulder, leaning back against the counter.

-That's a shocker. – Hailey says as she shares a look with Kevin, trying to avoid Adam's eyes on her.

Antonio calls for Kim from the office, and she runs towards the bullpen, leaving her mug on the counter.

-Can I have your cup? – Adam asks her while she walks by him.

-Sure! – she yells already near her desk to talk to Antonio.

Kevin finishes pouring some coffee on his own mug and heads towards his desk, leaving Adam alone with Hailey.

Ruzek walks towards the counter, now only a couple of feet away from her, to grab Kim's mug.

She drinks some of her coffee, while he sips his own.

-You didn't text me back last night. – he says, trying to keep his voice quiet. She is leaned back against the counter, and he is facing her side. He knows if Kevin looks up from his desk, he will see them.

-I fell asleep. I was tired. -she lies, looking at her feet.

-I was going to stop by your house, but… -

She interrupts him before he can finish. – The party at Molly's got too fun? – she jokes, looking up at him.

Her light blue eyes never fail to amaze him. He loves her eyes.

Not that she knows that, of course.

Knowing Hailey, she would run away before he can even begin to say that sentence.

-Can I stop by tonight? – he asks, changing the subject.

She nods, knowing she's a sucker for relationships that are meant to go to hell, but hey, why not have some fun before everything blows in their faces?

* * *

Their latest case resembles the case of Kim's sister way too much, and Hailey can tell the police officer is having a hard time handling everything.

 _But they are team_ , with Hank at the top, and then Kevin with his loyalty, Jay and his quiet companion, Adam with his intense protection, Antonio trying to keep everyone sane, and Hailey and her constant push to keep her colleagues on the right path.

They are team, and they have faults, yes, but they take care of their own. Failing Al is something still heavy on their minds and hearts, and Hailey could swear they all have regrets regarding that.

Adam and Kim have always had a sort of understanding, but it's Kevin who's there for her at the end of the day, and Hailey is surprised to find Adam waiting for her at her desk.  
-I thought you were going to take Kim home. – she says from her spot, a few feet away.

-I had a long talk with her and Kevin offered to give her a ride. – he says, getting up from the chair to walk up to her. He's towering over her, always does with his height, and he almost reaches out to touch her hand. – Want to get out of here? –

Hailey is pretty sure she has underestimated his feelings for her, but damn it, she does not want to get her hopes up. They are a recipe for disaster.

Adam finally reaches out to grab her hand and pulls her towards the stairs. – Come on. I kinda can't wait to get home. – he says removing his eyes from her to look at the front.

She knows he's talking about her house. Their little safe haven away from all the craziness of the world. Away from her abusive father and his sister who keeps screwing up, away from both of their past mistakes.

She half smiles while she follows him.

* * *

-Do you need some help with that? -he asks from the bathroom door.

Hailey looks up, knowing she must look like a mess right now. Her hair is tied up in a ponytail, she is only wearing a pair of jeans and her bra, her shirt on the floor. She is fighting with the bandage on her arm.

-Yeah. – she admits looking back at her reflection in the mirror.

Adam steps in the bathroom, moving to take of the bandage with care. He is silent, and she can't know what he's thinking.

-It doesn't hurt. – she says, trying to clear the air.

-I know. I called Med when you went there. I spoke to Will himself. – he says, moving the bandages away. The scar on her arm is there, but it will disappear with time.

-You did? – she asks surprised, keeping her eyes on his face.

He looks up, moving some locks away from her face.

-You thought I didn't care? – he asks her. He knows she wants to keep things on the downlow, but sooner or later he will have to find a way to make her see reason.

At the beginning, when they had started sleeping together, he would be lying if he said he imagined a future with her. He hoped, but he was aware of his faults and her rules, and they are almost always the two people in the team that disagree over a case.

But the time spent at her home or eating out or whatever they were doing together, has made him appreciate her more. He is pretty sure he's on his way to being head over heels for her, but he doesn't want to scare her.

As he looks at her eyes, he knows he is scared to lose her.

 _Adam does not want to fuck this up._

Hailey takes a step towards him, standing on her tiptoes as she kisses him.

She tastes like scotch and smells like that lavender thing she puts in her hair, and Adam swear he could die a happy man in her arms.

She smiles at him, ending the kiss, but bumping his nose with her.

(Yeah, he is so screwed.)

* * *

-Hailey. – someone says, and Hailey turns around to come face to face with Kevin Atwater.

-Kev… - she says, and she knows he can see the panic on her face.

-Don't worry, I know. – Kevin says, clicking his beer with her glass of scotch.

-What? –

-You guys aren't that good. – he says nodding once.

She takes a deep breath, and without Adam there, she knows he can't help her. – I just don't want to deal with Voight and HR forms and that stuff. – she says shrugging her shoulders.

-Oh, Voight knows. If I know, Voight knows. – Kevin says laughing. – Don't worry! – he says at seeing her frown. – And HR forms aren't that bad. – he tries do advise her before moving away to greet Adam's cousin, who's throwing the party.

A few minutes later, she is talking to a couple of girls at the place, when Adam approaches her. – So, I have some bad news. –

-Kevin's here. – she says smiling up at him.

-Oh, you know? I'm sorry, I didn't think my cousin would invite him, but… -

-It's ok. – she says, shaking her head.

-Really? -he asks confused, keeping his hands on his jean pockets.

-Yeah. – she says, nodding once. Maybe it was time, maybe she had to take a chance for once.

He smiles as if he just won the lottery, grabbing her by the waist and hugging her to him.

Hailey almost drops her glass on the floor when he picks her up, but she puts one arm around him anyway. – Adam! –

He drops her on the spot but doesn't let go of her waist. -I can start showing you of. – he says still smiling, _and that simple sentence makes her smile even more._

* * *

Hailey is back in his arms, only this time, she's curled around him on her couch. He still has his hand on her hair, caressing it lightly.

She looks up from her spot on his chest and she smiles at him.

 _Has he always looked at her the way he is right now?_

-What? – he asks, before kissing her forehead.

A kiss to her cheek. Kisses left along her jaw. One placed on her neck.

-Nothing. – she says smiling, before kissing his lips.

He stayed. And that's enough for her.

 _And not because it's her job, or his, or anything like that. It's their choice._


	2. Chapter 2

It's Kim's birthday and the Intelligence team is taking advantage of the occasion to have a good time at a new restaurant. The place seems to have a good vibe and people are enjoying themselves.

(Kim has a glorious smile on her face and it makes Hailey smile too. She deserves the happiness)

-What are you doing all the way over here? -Adam asks her as he approaches her with a drink on his hand.

Kim made all of them dress up tonight, and the blonde is enjoying the suit on her boyfriend a little too much.

Adam is standing a little too close to her and she can see Kevin looking at them from a distance. Just because he knows and Hailey is pretty sure Voight knows too, they still haven't come clean to rest of her team members.

She appreciates him, she likes him and she absolutely enjoys the time they spend together, but she is not ready to be out in the open with him yet.

(That makes her a coward, she is well aware of that)

-Maybe we should be on our own for tonight. – she says to Adam with a smile on her face, seeing from her peripheral vision that Jay is approaching them.

As her partner comes closer to them, she doesn't miss the hurt on Adam's look. There's no anger in it, just hurt, be he covers up way too fast. He finishes his drink quickly, putting his glass on the counter.

-What's up? We're doing shots, per the birthday girl request. – Jay says turning around to order the drinks from the bartender.

-That sounds good. – Adam says as he walks away from the two of them to approach Kim, who smiles at him, lighting up her face.

-You coming, Hailey? – Jay asks as he grabs the tray from the bartender, turning around to face her.

-In a sec. – she says smiling, and Halstead nods before walking away.

Two hours later, she is helping Kim put away her gifts in her car while Jay talks with Kevin and Kim's sister on the sidewalk.

-You had a good time? – Hailey asks her and her colleague nods.

-Yeah, I don't even remember the last time my sister and I enjoyed ourselves so much. -she shares and Hailey nods.

-I'm glad Kim. -she says as she closes the back door and crosses her arms. Her eyes meet Kim's and for a strange reason, she has the urge to tell her the truth about her Adam, but instead she says. – Are we still on for running tomorrow? –

-Sounds good. – Kim says nodding once. – I promised I wouldn't say anything, but I can't anymore. – the brunette adds and Hailey freezes for a moment. – Adam told me. – she says and Hailey's world stops for a moment.

-He what? – she asks in a whisper.

-We kinda made a promise to each other a while back, after we broke up, that if either of us moved on, we would tell the other. – Kim explains with the softest of looks on her eyes, and Hailey can't understand for the life of her why she is being so nice. – He told me had found someone he wasn't expecting in you, but that you weren't ready to tell anyone. –

-Kim…- Hailey murmurs.

-It's ok. – Kim assures her, taking her hands between her own. – We've been over for some time, and I truly believe it's time he moves on. – she assures her, and maybe Adam was telling her the truth when they played pool after hooking up for the first time.

 _-Kim's an amazing woman, I love her. We hit a lot of bumps on the road, and at the end of the day she didn't want to be with me, so we're friends. –_

-In a way, I'm glad he's with you. You are a friend to me Hailey. – Kim says, acknowledging their friendship for the first time. After the Sienna case, both women have tried to be there for each other, and surprisingly, it hasn't been hard.

They see some of themselves in each other.

-I'm sorry if I hurt you, I just couldn't…. –

Kim interrupts before she can finish. – You didn't. But I think it's time you enjoy this thing you have with Adam. You deserve to be happy too Hailey. –

The blonde detective hugs her friend, completely overwhelmed by the recent events.

-Happy birthday, Kim. – she says one more time.

-Thank you, Hailey. – the officer thanks her, without letting go of her.

* * *

Hailey has blood on her hair.

It's not a figurative of speech or a metaphor, she literally has a crazy amount of blood on her blonde locks, mixed with dirt and what she is pretty sure is half of the woman's brain that shot herself in front of her.

She is sitting in a bench inside the locker rooms facing a wall, without the will to get up from there.

The door opens behind her, but she still doesn't move.

-Hailey. – Jay says but it gets no reaction from her.

Her partner moves to stand in front of her, squatting so he is facing her.

-Hailey. – he says again, but she doesn't acknowledge him. She can't right now, she is still seeing the mother of two that killed herself in front of her out of guilt for killing her husband, who used to beat the crap out of her.

Jay lets a breath out, moving a few steps away from her as he dials a familiar number on his phone.

-Hey. Yeah, sorry, I know you're on a job but… Hailey needs you, man. We had a bad one today. – Jay's words go unnoticed by Hailey, but someone else across town is already moving to get to the 21st.

It takes Adam Ruzek half an hour to get to Intelligence, and he can't stay long, but he knows he has to be there.

-Where is she? – he asks Antonio but keeps walking towards the locker rooms. They are empty, so he keeps walking towards the bathrooms where he opens the door and finds Hailey sitting on a chair with Kim in front of her.

Relief washes through Kim, as she squeezes Hailey's hand one more time before getting up to move towards the door.

-She is all yours. Be careful. – the brunette advises Ruzek before moving away from the room.

He takes a deep breath before removing his jacket, and then moves to sit next to his girlfriend.

They haven't seen each other in almost two weeks, he's been working a gang with Kevin undercover and time hasn't been kind with them.

He's missed her. Quite a lot actually.

-Hey. – he says moving his hand to grab her hand, but she doesn't even flinch. What the hell happened to her?

-You need to take a shower before I get you home. -he says softly as he squeezes her hand.

Adam knows he needs to get her moving, but he takes of his shoes and then his shirt before moving to lock the door. They need some privacy.

He then removes his jeans and puts them next to his jacket and shirt on the chair.

Wearing only his boxers, he moves towards one of the showers to turn the hot water on. He places his hand under the spray and regulates with the cold water to make sure it's warm.

Then, he moves towards his girlfriend, and squats in front of her.

She doesn't move her eyes from the wall in front of her.

-I am going to get you out of these dirty clothes ok? – he whispers, knowing she won't answer.

He takes of her shirt first, leaving it on the floor.

Then, very slowly he helps her get up and she complies, without looking at him. She isn't wearing shoes so he unzips her jeans and helps her get out of them very carefully.

He looks at her face before removing her bra and then her panties.

Adam grabs her hands and leads her to the shower, and carefully helps her get inside.

The water seems to surprise her and Hailey blinks a couple of times, before looking at him for the first time.

Her own teary blue eyes meet his dark ones.

-Hey. – he whispers, keeping his hands on her waist to steady her. He then moves one of his hands to caress her hair, helping the blood go away.

She keeps her eyes on him, without talking.

-I missed you there for a while. – he whispers as he now uses both of his hands to massage her scalp.

She closes her eyes as he does that.

He washes her hair, her entire body and then he turns of the water.

She is looking for his eyes again and he is glad she at least acknowledges him as he helps her get dry and into new clothes.

He puts one of his shirts on her, and that makes him feel a little better.

It takes her getting out of the 21st and arriving to her house to break down. She does it in his arms, in her bed and he is glad she feels safe there.

(He holds onto her as if his life depends on it).

* * *

They've been having arguments lately.

Like the one time she stayed really late at Jay's and didn't call him to let him know. She's an independent woman who's used doing things her way, and he sometimes has hard time knowing how to handle things.

But Adam still shows up at her house and after the argument stays on the couch, until she's taken a shower and walks towards him, curling around him like a kitten.

-I'll call next time. – she tells him, and he knows that's all he's going to get from her.

She leans her forehead against his chin, and he nods.

-I get it, he is your partner. He needed you. – he assures her because he knows the bond between partners is something he can relate to.

She doesn't add anything for a moment and raises her eyes to look at him.

-You always get it. – she says with a slight smile on her face.

Her smile lights him up like nothing else can.

* * *

His sister's ex screws up and this time his nephew ends in the hospital.

He still doesn't know what to do regarding this situation. He knows he wants to kill the guy for endangering Sam, but his nephew can't catch a break between his parents. His dad is good for nothing and Kate Ruzek keeps screwing up from time to time.

Adam watches his nephew sleep in a room at Med with Kate sitting next to him, holding his small hand.

-Hey. – Hailey says as she approaches him from a distance. She goes for his hand and squeezes, now standing next to him, looking at Sam on his bed.

-Hey. – he whispers, squeezing her hand as well.

Adam lowers his gaze, without adding anything else.

-You need to talk? – she asks in a whisper, now looking up at him.

He remains silent, but nods once, and that's enough for her. She drags him across the hallway and looks around for an empty room. There's an empty waiting room at the end of the hall and she sits, waiting for Adam to do the same.

-What's wrong? -she asks, sitting across from him.

-I'm not sure what I should do. – he says in a whisper, playing her fingers on his hands. He keeps his eyes down as he speaks.

-What do you mean? -

He's exhausted, barely capable of a coherent thought, but he has to try, for his nephew.

-If Kate and her ex keep screwing up… I don't want Sam to suffer anymore. He deserves better parents. -Adam says as he sinks down in the chair, letting of her hand. – He doesn't deserve this. –

-I don't know Sam's dad, Adam, but I know Kate a little bit. She is trying. – she murmurs and it's statement, not a question.

He doesn't know if it's because her mom failed to protect her and her brothers, but if anyone knows about shitty parents who keep trying to be better people, it's Hailey, and if her nephew turns out to be half the person she is, he would be ok with that, but he does not want Sam to suffer anymore.

-Hey. – she's calling for him again, and blue meets brown when they are eyes meet. – Why don't we help her out? I don't know, pick up Sam a couple of days from school or taking him to soccer games? –

-We? – he murmurs, looking down.

-What', you think I was going to leave alone with all of this? – she grins at him, moving closer to him.

Adam moves closer to her and presses his lips to her forehead, breathing her into his lungs greedily.

He smiles, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, amazed by her. He never stops being amazed by her.

* * *

Hailey's only been to Adam's place twice.

They never really discussed it, but her place became their place without really saying anything about it.

She doesn't know his neighborhood that well, but she manages, parking on his block.

She finds his door quickly, and knocks on it, hoping he is home.

Adam opens the door and looks at her. The surprise on his face doesn't go unnoticed by her.

-Hey. – she says, waving her hand in front of him.

-Hey. – he says, moving so she can come in.

-Your dad called me. – she says, leaving her bag on his couch.

He knows what that means. Bob Ruzek has liked Hailey from the beginning. The minute Adam set up a dinner at his sister's house so they could meet the woman he was dating, Bob was thrilled.

 _-She's a keeper, son. A woman that has your back like that, that's a keeper right there. –_

-I'm fine. – he assures her, while he grabs the bottle of beer he's drinking from the kitchen counter. He then takes a seat on the couch but doesn't look up at her.

-Are you lying to me right now? – she crosses her arms in the middle of his living room.

He doesn't know how to share this with her, because Hailey's the type of cop he only hopes to be like someday. She's earned everything she's got by effort, and he knows Hank saw it from the start and that's why he offered her the spot in Intelligence.

That's why this is so hard for him to share right now. She's never failed at anything.

-Adam. – she calls his name and he looks up at her by instinct.

-It's ok. I'm used to it. -he tells her.

-You can take it again next year, and I told you it was one of the hardest exams out there. It's brutal. -she tells him approaching him. – This doesn't mean you're not a good cop or a good officer, and believe me, you will make an amazing detective pretty soon. –

-You don't get it because you don't fail. – he says standing up, getting away from her.

-Excuse me? – she asks him, turning around to face him.

-You've excelled your whole career! – he says putting the beer on the counter.

-I have not, and even I had, that doesn't mean I can't understand what you're going through. – she tells him walking closer to him again.

-Hailey… -

-I took the exam to get into the Academy twice. -she says surprising him. – I had just dropped out of law school and I wasn't in a good place with my family, but that's not an excuse. I wasn't ready. – she says trying to make him see reason.

Adam stays quiet for the first time, listening to her.

She comes to a stop in front of her but doesn't reach out to touch her.

-So don't tell me I've never failed, because that's all I do sometimes. – she says remembering Devin Williams but trying to stay focused on the guy in front of her.

Adam nods, taking her words in, pondering them, accepting them. Then he lets out a breath.

-C'me here. – he says standing up to wrap her in his arms.

He kisses her lips briefly before snuzzling her neck.

She thinks about adding something else, but she's pretty sure he gets the point.

-Thank you. – he murmurs against her neck and she simply nods wrapping her arms around him.

This thing with them, the thing that wasn't supposed to last, it's becoming more and more important every day. He's there for her and she's there for him, and he keeps expecting for to bolt any minute but she doesn't. She keeps him grounded and he keeps her steady and damn it, he hates being a cliché, but he kinda feels like they complement each other somehow.

She seems to be so strong on the outside and she has way too many rules for his taste, and to quote her, _just because they sleep together doesn't mean she will change the way she does her job,_ but he will take it from her because he knows it's worth it.

Now he's the one clinging to her and she's the one steadying him.

 _-I got you._ – she murmurs against his chest.


End file.
